For those who don't know, my name is Lucas. I'm a Christian and I suffer from anxiety. The kind that makes the simplest thing feel like a nightmare. And no, I don't go to therapy. I tried once, the doctor said she didn't know what to tell me to do anymore because I was doing all of the things that she could advise me to do to get better and that I should go to the psychiatrist and probably get medications. The issues is that I'm not about this life, not at all, so I decided to leave it to the mighty hand of God.
This was just to give you some context.
Now the story:
Yesterday I went to the supermarket to buy some stuff. Initially I didn't feel like going out, but it had to be done. By the way I ran to the Uber like it was going to leave without me, I already knew something was up. I went inside the supermarket and I started feeling like a lost child. A few minutes after, I could barely breath, my friend anxiety attacks was kicking, full blast. I was trying hard to breath but I was also trying to keep my composure, big girl style! I did what I had to do, I felt like everybody was looking at me. I just wanted to leave everything and run home, but again, I am a big girl so I was fighting the tears, keeping a straight face and doing breathing exercises. I was thinking to myself, if I casted my anxiety on God, why am I still being anxious? This should stopped months ago. Should I go see the psychiatrist? Am I making a mistake? I don't want to and then, I decided to pray about it.
While I was praying that God calms me down, He revealed to me that I took 1 Peter 5:7 in the literal sense and that I didn't fully understand how the whole casting my anxiety worked.
We can practice casting our anxieties on the Lord by stepping away from attempts to control our worries and leaning into the reassuring words of God. Once we do this, we can see that our anxiety is not a thing on which we should focus. Instead, we are called to give it up to God. But me I was doing the total opposite, trying to keep it under control, hoping that God would just make it dissappear.
I believe that He will heal me one day, but in the meantime He his teaching me and reminding me that He didn't say that there wouldn't trouble, but promised that He would be with me in the middle of the trials and He is proving Himself over and over and over.