I remember when I first met You, I was extremely amazed. Your words transformed me, being with You was my priority. I remember those moments with You : in my prayer corner, in my kitchen, in my bed, even in my bathroom. Anywhere and everywhere was the perfect spot, for the right moment with You. I remember how I wanted to choose You everyday through every one of my decisions, through every actions and even if I struggled, I've never stop trying.
Then suddenly I started focusing on other things, things that cannot fill me, things that cannot serve You, things that cannot glorify you. Because I desired them, my flesh wanted them, but not Your Spirit. I started to spend less time with You in the secret place. I started to cry, I started to easily believe the lies of the enemy. My ears started to be his refuge. His voice was too loud and because of the path I chose, the one set before me was there but I could not follow it. I lost my focus and I started to drown.
Here i am today, with this heartbreak. Here I am, with this sadness, with all I am, in that secret place, with Your words and all these sufferings, knowing that : I've known You for too long not to know that being with You in the early hours of the day should be my priority or not to be convinced that the secret place must be my favorite place. I have known you for too long not to recognize your voice among the others or to stay in my current dimension.
Holy Spirit I want more, more of You. I know who You are, and I know there’s more, I want more. I want to know You more. I have known you for too long to stay here, I refuse and I rebuke a life without You. I don't want to fall into my old ways and paths that I've already experienced with You and surmounted. I want You. I want to be with You. I want to spend more time with my Lord through His words, in the secret place and in prayer. I have known You for too long to not be filled with You, to not live with You, for You and in You. It's unacceptable. I refuse it and I rebuke it in Jesus' saving name.
For now on, Lord, every day is a step towards You, and one step further from this world, the devil and mostly my flesh. You are my Lord and my Savior. You are my Master. Take Your place on the throne of my heart, I am ready to follow You.
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